The Talk

Location > Networking > Forum > The Talk

	Topic: The Talk
Posted : 09/02/10 / Views : 2345 / Replies : 25 /
Edward.Llewelyn 81 posts last on: 15/12/11 send private reply	Hi everyone hope you're well. Just wondering whether you've ever had the talk where someone you know, friend, partner, family member, Dole worker have ever asked you 'maybe you should try something else as this job doesn't seem to be going anywhere' How have you responded and how's it felt to be spoken to about this? Answers on a postcard.

[add comments | all topics]

1 2 3 Next

	Reply #1
Posted : 22/01/10
BaldJohn 64 posts last on: 06/02/12 send private reply	Get it all the time. Always very well-intentioned, and very carefully said, as though nobody's ever likely to have broached the subject before. I usually mumble something about not being ready to give up yet, and the conversation moves on. But there's a growing temptation to explode :)

	Reply #2
Posted : 22/01/10
Geraldine.Allen 141 posts last on: 06/02/12 send private reply	I love the comment "so what are you going to do if you don't 'make it'by 30 (insert relevant age here!), what would your real job be?". I normally just ask them what they're going to do if they haven't become CEO of their company by then. I don't think people understand that it's not a whim....it's a career and we'll always keep working at it like in any career. Another favourite..."what would I have seen you in?"

Reply #2

Posted : 22/01/10

Geraldine.Allen
141 posts
last on: 06/02/12
send private reply

I love the comment "so what are you going to do if you don't 'make it'by 30 (insert relevant age here!), what would your real job be?". I normally just ask them what they're going to do if they haven't become CEO of their company by then. I don't think people understand that it's not a whim....it's a career and we'll always keep working at it like in any career.

Another favourite..."what would I have seen you in?"

	Reply #3
Posted : 22/01/10
Jonathan.Goodwin 254 posts last on: 23/01/12 send private reply	Sadly, people don't think you're "legit" unless they've seen you in EastEnders or Corrie, it seems. Too often with our chosen profession, folk equate having "made it" with fame - definitely not the same thing, in my opinion! Although were Mr. Spielberg to give me a call... !

	Reply #4
Posted : 22/01/10
Jenna.Sharpe 209 posts last on: 06/02/12 send private reply	Hi Edward! I get it all the time as sadly, I live with my parents! Well I think they have given up giving me "the talk" now but I just get the usual little jibes and quips now and again. For example whenever they see me in a rush or slightly stressed they always attribute that to my acting career and say something like "I don't think acting is very good for your health"! Also, my older sister has just bought her first property and the house next door to hers is now on the market. My dad was saying how it would be nice if I could have bought that and he would have even helped me with the deposit. But because I am not in a "stable career" and am not certain what I want to do with my life he felt that "having financial commitments and staying in one place probably doesn't suit an actress". Well a) I don't really want to live next to my sister anyway and b) I don't know many young people that can actually afford to buy a house these days! But hey, he actually used the A word to describe me so I think that is progress! Also, I try to see it from their point of view as it is coming from a good place despite the way it comes across. I also know that it is not a lack of faith in me as they often say I am talented and have come to many of the productions I have been in and enjoyed them. I just think they are old fashioned and traditional and feel I should be utilizing my degrees more. I have also got the talk from a friend who was wondering, like Geraldine mentioned, at what age I would decide to call it a day! How do I respond? Well usually I try and talk about things rationally but often that doesn't work if the people you are trying to convince don't want to be convinced! So now I just pretend to take on board what they say and just walk away. We can never really change other people's beliefs unless they want to change them so attempting to do so it a waste of time and energy. The one thing we do have control of is how we react to these people and how much we let it bother us. I think the difference here is that most of us have demonstrated our talents in some way shape of form. I worry more about the many aspiring actors who genuinely do not have the talent to succeed but are determined to do so anyway. You know, the kind that go on X Factor thinking they are the next Whitney or Mariah when they just sound awful…and often the family seem to be 100% behind them! It is this whole follllowwww your dreaaaaams kind of society we live in where people aspire to be famous but not due to having any talent. It is these people that are also vulnerable to the many scams out there.

Reply #4

Posted : 22/01/10

Jenna.Sharpe
209 posts
last on: 06/02/12
send private reply

Hi Edward!

I get it all the time as sadly, I live with my parents! Well I think they have given up giving me "the talk" now but I just get the usual little jibes and quips now and again.
For example whenever they see me in a rush or slightly stressed they always attribute that to my acting career and say something like "I don't think acting is very good for your health"!

Also, my older sister has just bought her first property and the house next door to hers is now on the market. My dad was saying how it would be nice if I could have bought that and he would have even helped me with the deposit. But because I am not in a "stable career" and am not certain what I want to do with my life he felt that "having financial commitments and staying in one place probably doesn't suit an actress". Well a) I don't really want to live next to my sister anyway and b) I don't know many young people that can actually afford to buy a house these days!

But hey, he actually used the A word to describe me so I think that is progress!
Also, I try to see it from their point of view as it is coming from a good place despite the way it comes across. I also know that it is not a lack of faith in me as they often say I am talented and have come to many of the productions I have been in and enjoyed them. I just think they are old fashioned and traditional and feel I should be utilizing my degrees more.

I have also got the talk from a friend who was wondering, like Geraldine mentioned, at what age I would decide to call it a day!

How do I respond? Well usually I try and talk about things rationally but often that doesn't work if the people you are trying to convince don't want to be convinced! So now I just pretend to take on board what they say and just walk away. We can never really change other people's beliefs unless they want to change them so attempting to do so it a waste of time and energy. The one thing we do have control of is how we react to these people and how much we let it bother us.

I think the difference here is that most of us have demonstrated our talents in some way shape of form. I worry more about the many aspiring actors who genuinely do not have the talent to succeed but are determined to do so anyway. You know, the kind that go on X Factor thinking they are the next Whitney or Mariah when they just sound awful…and often the family seem to be 100% behind them! It is this whole follllowwww your dreaaaaams kind of society we live in where people aspire to be famous but not due to having any talent. It is these people that are also vulnerable to the many scams out there.

	Reply #5
Posted : 22/01/10
ALANWALES 132 posts last on: 06/02/12 send private reply	Have faith. The great Orson Welles was once asked by a young movie executive "So what have you done?"

	Reply #6
Posted : 22/01/10
leeravitz 1542 posts last on: 5 hours send private reply	One thing I think most outsiders miss about the way the industry actually works (and this is very important) is that, by and large, most actors are not 'overnight successes'. Because they equate acting with visibility, an 'easy lifestyle', and a swift route to fame, it is always assumed if you have been working for - oooh, five years, let's say - and you haven't 'made it' yet, then you should surely be looking for a new job. This rather ignores the fact that, the longer an actor stays in this game, the more likely he or she is to attain better work, because the primary criterion by which agents, casting directors etc. consider you is in terms of 'risk assessment' - the more they can trust you, and believe in whatever reputation you can bring onboard with you, the more work you get from them. The more visible your profile is to them, the more work you get from them. The more projects they come into contact with in association with which your name keeps appearing, the more work you get from them. Certainly, there are fresh faced 21 year olds who step straight from RADA into a plum BBC1 primetime role on recommendation, and never look back from that point onwards, but, for most of us, it is actually being in the game for the 'long haul' that makes us ultimately saleable. Assuming that if you haven't climbed the 'career ladder' of acting within, oh, two years of graduating drama school is nonsense, really - no trusts or knows you yet, most likely, and you may need about a quarter century's experience under your belt before anyone starts to take you even halfway seriously. The more salient issue is that, literally, running out of money to support yourself whilst pursuing the acting goal can force you to retire from the market - and there's not a great deal you can always do about that, other than try to keep your head above water in other ways - but, even then, there is no reason why you cannot lay low in this game for, say, a year, earn some more money, and then launch back in, all guns blazing. What most folks don't really appreciate is the fact that acting has no 'career ladder' structure in place - the work falls as it falls, you can be riding ridiculously high in something one year, and have virtually no work at all the next, and that's basically an unfamiliar pattern to people who expect a job to function as slow increments up an organised hierarchy. Though, still and all, in this era of credit crunch, freelancing, 'making ends meet' etc. etc., I'd have thought a lot of people would have been a bit more sympathetic to the plight of those whose jobs function on a case-by-case basis. What can I say? Everyone who's not an actor thinks of us as a breed apart. So it goes.

Reply #6

Posted : 22/01/10

leeravitz
1542 posts
last on: 5 hours
send private reply

One thing I think most outsiders miss about the way the industry actually *works* (and this is very important) is that, by and large, most actors are not 'overnight successes'. Because they equate acting with visibility, an 'easy lifestyle', and a swift route to fame, it is always assumed if you have been working for - oooh, five years, let's say - and you haven't 'made it' yet, then you should surely be looking for a new job.

This rather ignores the fact that, the longer an actor stays in this game, the more likely he or she is to attain better work, because the primary criterion by which agents, casting directors etc. consider you is in terms of 'risk assessment' - the more they can trust you, and believe in whatever reputation you can bring onboard with you, the more work you get from them. The more visible your profile is to them, the more work you get from them. The more projects they come into contact with in association with which your name keeps appearing, the more work you get from them.

Certainly, there are fresh faced 21 year olds who step straight from RADA into a plum BBC1 primetime role on recommendation, and never look back from that point onwards, but, for most of us, it is actually being in the game for the 'long haul' that makes us ultimately saleable. Assuming that if you haven't climbed the 'career ladder' of acting within, oh, two years of graduating drama school is nonsense, really - no trusts or knows you yet, most likely, and you may need about a quarter century's experience under your belt before anyone starts to take you even halfway seriously.

The more salient issue is that, literally, running out of money to support yourself whilst pursuing the acting goal can force you to retire from the market - and there's not a great deal you can always do about that, other than try to keep your head above water in other ways - but, even then, there is no reason why you cannot lay low in this game for, say, a year, earn some more money, and then launch back in, all guns blazing.

What most folks don't really appreciate is the fact that acting has no 'career ladder' structure in place - the work falls as it falls, you can be riding ridiculously high in something one year, and have virtually no work at all the next, and that's basically an unfamiliar pattern to people who expect a job to function as slow increments up an organised hierarchy. Though, still and all, in this era of credit crunch, freelancing, 'making ends meet' etc. etc., I'd have thought a lot of people would have been a bit more sympathetic to the plight of those whose jobs function on a case-by-case basis. What can I say? Everyone who's not an actor thinks of us as a breed apart. So it goes.

	Reply #7
Posted : 22/01/10
BlakeJ 1437 posts last on: 06/02/12 send private reply	I think Lee is spot on. Its partly due to the reality Tv shows and stuff that people assume we all want to "make it big" and live like a celebrity. I think most of us would be lying if we said that doesnt appeal to a CERTAIN extent, but I do think it must be said that this business is not that glamourous outside of a few opening nights and awards ceremonies. Ed, I think its also important to say that I domt think family and friends do it from a place of not believing in you, they do it froma wel meaning place cos they love you and want you to thrive the whole way through... they proabbly see all the let downs, as well as the frustration, money issues, perhaps depression etc.... I do think it also must be stressed that ITS YOUR LIFE, and you have to make your own choices. My agent constantly tells me that it takes a long long time to establish yourself and that while there are a few starlets, it takes a while. Patsy Rodenburg has a section in her book "The Actor Speaks" when she mentions how a group of Americans seemed to be discussing how a british actress had made her big break finally... the person they were referring to was PEGGY ASHCROFT, a veteran in the theatre who won an Oscar for A passage to india in her eighties. I think "making it" is a misnomer, its got to do with working and establishing a career path that will change at different times... for the MAJORITY of jobbing actors, they rarely achieve fame and yet are successful in that they are working constantly. You have to choose your own path, even if others dont like it. I had the same problem with my friends last year and they had to pretty much retract their attitudes when I landed three jobs in succession, back to back. They dont understand. And to be honest, we cant really blame them for that considering it such a different profession from 9-5s.

Reply #7

Posted : 22/01/10

BlakeJ
1437 posts
last on: 06/02/12
send private reply

I think Lee is spot on. Its partly due to the reality Tv shows and stuff that people assume we all want to "make it big" and live like a celebrity.

I think most of us would be lying if we said that doesnt appeal to a CERTAIN extent, but I do think it must be said that this business is not that glamourous outside of a few opening nights and awards ceremonies.

Ed, I think its also important to say that I domt think family and friends do it from a place of not believing in you, they do it froma wel meaning place cos they love you and want you to thrive the whole way through... they proabbly see all the let downs, as well as the frustration, money issues, perhaps depression etc....

I do think it also must be stressed that ITS YOUR LIFE, and you have to make your own choices. My agent constantly tells me that it takes a long long time to establish yourself and that while there are a few starlets, it takes a while.

Patsy Rodenburg has a section in her book "The Actor Speaks" when she mentions how a group of Americans seemed to be discussing how a british actress had made her big break finally... the person they were referring to was PEGGY ASHCROFT, a veteran in the theatre who won an Oscar for A passage to india in her eighties.

I think "making it" is a misnomer, its got to do with working and establishing a career path that will change at different times...

for the MAJORITY of jobbing actors, they rarely achieve fame and yet are successful in that they are working constantly.

You have to choose your own path, even if others dont like it. I had the same problem with my friends last year and they had to pretty much retract their attitudes when I landed three jobs in succession, back to back. They dont understand. And to be honest, we cant really blame them for that considering it such a different profession from 9-5s.

	Reply #8
Posted : 22/01/10
neill.scullard 58 posts last on: 06/02/12 send private reply	the one that used to annoy me when i was younger was "make sure you have something to fall back on!" for what other line of work would someone say that?! Neill

	Reply #9
Posted : 22/01/10
Fuzz 628 posts last on: 06/02/12 send private reply	Imagine if you lived your whole life and DIDN'T pursue your dream. Wouldn't that be so much worse than putting up with people's comments.

	Reply #10
Posted : 22/01/10
Jonathan.Goodwin 254 posts last on: 23/01/12 send private reply	Yes.

[add comments | all topics]

1 2 3 Next

Please note: Messages written in the forum do not represent the views of Casting Call Pro, nor have they been vetted by Casting Call Pro staff. If you read something which you believe to be offensive or defamatory, please contact us and we will take the appropriate action.